Pandora's Planet

 

Pandora's Planet

by Christopher Anvil

Doubleday

1972

 

 

Pandora's Planet was published in 1972, expanded from a short story written in 1956. 'Humans' conquer a planet of 'humanoids' and then discover they've bitten off a lot more than they can chew. It's clear by the end of the first chapter that the Centrans are aliens and the humanoids they've conquered are, well, us, but we get several more increasingly obvious clues over the next several chapters, until Anvil all but grabs you by the lapels and shouts "it's Earth, stupid!" for anyone who hasn't realized it yet.

 
In Anvil's portrayal, humans are bursting with ideas and are natural leaders, we're also fractious and constantly fighting each other. The Centrans are mostly born followers, who previously just followed their own traditions. As Earthlings disperse throughout the Centran empire, we more or less take over the place, then nearly destroy it and ourselves, but the good guys (that is, the aliens, who are more or less typical 1950s scifi science heroes) save the day in the end.

 
Early on, conflicts are avoided by sending different philosophies to different planets, but we rapidly end up consolidating into a capitalist-racist-fascist alliance on one side and some sort of communist union on the other. The Centrans eventually retake control of their planets through a combination of letting their opponents tire themselves out and some classic mid-century scifi deus ex machina.

 
Anvil chooses to write each chapter as almost a stage play between two Centran generals learning about what's happened next from reports and talking about what to do it about it. He presents some humorous critique of our various major governing philosophies. I wouldn't actually recommend this to anyone, but it was good enough to finish. (I picked it up knowing nothing, based solely on the title. Pandora's Planet is the Centran nickname for Earth based on the chaos we unleash when they "open us up" by allowing human immigration into their empire.)